Quote
November 24, 2011
165 notes
"I do not have a prescription for successful relationships, and I don’t think anyone should. The goal of most of my work is to remove coercive mechanisms that force people to comply with heteronormative gender and family norms. People often get confused and think that me and other trans activists are trying to erase gender and make everyone be androgynous. In fact, that sounds a little boring to me. What want to see is a world in which people do not have to be criminalized, or cast out of their family, or cut off welfare, or sexually harassed at school, or subjected to involuntary mental health care, or prevented from getting housing because they organize their gender, desire, or family structure in a way that offends a norm. I hope we can build that vision by practicing it in our own queer and activist communities and in our approaches to ourselves. Let’s be gentle with ourselves and each other and fierce as we fight oppression."

— Dean Spade’s For Lovers and Fighters
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Tags: words of wisdom truth radical babes love

Photo
July 28, 2011
1,007 notes
radicalxstitch: arsmeteorologica: Elizabeth Parker’s cross-stitched account circa 1830 of her emotional trauma and suicide attempt after her employer pushed her down the stairs when she resisted his sexual advance. Elizabeth begins, “As I cannot write I put this down simply and freely as I might speak to a person whose intimacy and tenderness I can fully intrust myself…” In some ways things have changed so much for women, but in others, not that much. The specter of assault by employers, violence from men when their attentions are rebuffed, the feelings of guilt and pain after the assault, the concealment of the event and her feelings. my most favourite awe awe radical cross stitch of all time.  HOLY FUCK.

radicalxstitch:

arsmeteorologica:

Elizabeth Parker’s cross-stitched account circa 1830 of her emotional trauma and suicide attempt after her employer pushed her down the stairs when she resisted his sexual advance. Elizabeth begins, “As I cannot write I put this down simply and freely as I might speak to a person whose intimacy and tenderness I can fully intrust myself…”

In some ways things have changed so much for women, but in others, not that much. The specter of assault by employers, violence from men when their attentions are rebuffed, the feelings of guilt and pain after the assault, the concealment of the event and her feelings.

my most favourite awe awe radical cross stitch of all time.

 HOLY FUCK.

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Tags: resistance oppression violence writing radical

Photo
June 11, 2011
776 notes
motorcitykitty: martaunderthesea: The word “radical” comes from the root word “radix” which is also the root word of “radishes”, “radix” implying the act of getting to the “root of things.” Therefore “radicalism” as it were does not imply a superficial reaction to a problem, rather a return to the root. It is the consideration of a problem with clarity, simplicity, and depth. An underground with substance. I often get the impression that folks use the word “radical” without any notion of its etymology / its meaning. So this is really lovely to me. (via joellesoswell) oh wow. lately i am just so in love with plant tattoos (as someone who was often told i was “growing like a weed” and “beanpole” etc i have a certain affection/complicated relationship with it, and also lately i have been realizing how much plants and flowers and gardens mean to me) and i love the explanation behind this one.

motorcitykitty:

martaunderthesea:

The word “radical” comes from the root word “radix” which is also the root word of “radishes”, “radix” implying the act of getting to the “root of things.” Therefore “radicalism” as it were does not imply a superficial reaction to a problem, rather a return to the root. It is the consideration of a problem with clarity, simplicity, and depth. An underground with substance.

I often get the impression that folks use the word “radical” without any notion of its etymology / its meaning. So this is really lovely to me.

(via joellesoswell)

oh wow. lately i am just so in love with plant tattoos (as someone who was often told i was “growing like a weed” and “beanpole” etc i have a certain affection/complicated relationship with it, and also lately i have been realizing how much plants and flowers and gardens mean to me) and i love the explanation behind this one.

Tags: roots radical tattoo amazing

Text
April 19, 2011
29 notes

On rejection

faketrain:

On rejection « flagging opinicus rampant

Swiftly and graciously accepting rejection is a cornerstone of radical consent. It hurts, but if you really believe in sexual autonomy, you just have to suck it up — without pleading or wheedling or demanding answers. You need a reason to be with someone, not to reject them.

Of course, rejection can be based on prejudice. It can be cissexist or racist or fatphobic or biphobic or ageist or ableist or anti-virgin or whatever else. And if someone voices those sentiments, you’re right to call them up on it. But nobody owes you an explanation on why they don’t want to fuck you or date you. I’ve been hearing people assume prejudice in situations where no reason was given, and I tend to think it’s likely no reason was given because no one wants to say “I’m just not that into you”.

In an existing relationship, pressing for a reason can be used to get someone to stay with you under the promise that you will change. But though it’s widely acknowledged that rape and sexual assault occur within established relationships, conversations about consent can tend to focus on the beginnings of things. Even when consent education explicitly resists the idea of perpetual consent, or conclusive negotiations (eg in this questionnaire), people can assume that certain ideas or questions aren’t applicable to their situation. The communication style and power dynamic of an established relationship can complicate negotiations, as much as it can facilitate them.

But coercion can come from a place of disempowerment — eg using your body image or mental health issues to manipulate someone into having sex with you — as much as it can come from the abuse of power. When you feel utterly powerless, it can be hard to imagine that you’re exercising coercion, but that’s exactly what’s happening when you try to beg and trade in the face of rejection.

One of our Basic Rules of Flagging is that we need to be open to suggestion and open to rejection. Consent depends on both — if you are too polite to proposition, too precious to be propositioned, too evasive to reject and too insecure to be rejected, how are you negotiating consent?

thanks to bunny for quoting the section on coercion and disempowerment that sent me to this blog, this is a very good post and now i have another neat blog outside of the tumblr on my bookmarks. terrif!

this is very interesting food for thought, and touches on a lot of things i’ve felt in the past…

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Tags: radical consent sex sexuality awesome

Quote
April 25, 2010
46 notes
"

seriously? so because i’m cunted, like makeup, and sometimes i wear heels, i’m just kowtowing to a patriarchal ideal of what i’m supposed to look like? that’s fairly, no, actually that’s COMPLETELY laughable. not to mention insulting.
who are you, who the hell is ANYONE, to tell anyone else what they’re supposed to look like? do you REALLY think that because i wear makeup i’m any less radical than someone who doesn’t? really? because i can pretty much guarantee that while you’re running around michfest, celebrating your weemoonhood, i’m fucking shit up a lot harder than you are.
i’m so fucking tired of this ciscentric idea of what feminism is.
i’ve got a cunt and i wear makeup. i also pack, bind, and can kick the ass of pretty much any fucking cisdudebro that fucks with me. i realize that to transphobic second wavers this means that i’m some sort of gender betraying tool of some ridiculous systemic oppression against “real wimmin” and i also realize that all of you will now call me a crazy tranny.
the thing is, by refusing to do things that CAN ACTUALLY BE FUN IF YOU LET THEM (like wearing makeup, running around in a jersey dress when it’s 100 degrees out, or fucking someone with a flesh cock, regardless of their gender) you’re just letting the patriarchal ideals that you so deplore control you.

ugh. fucking second wavers… betty friedan? geezus fuck. seriously? is that all you’ve got? betty fucking friedan? why not just cry about mary daly again? maybe you can braid each other’s hair and read the transsexual empire together, too.

stupid fucking ciscentric weemmoon. there’s a reason you’re so scared of trannies. we fuck with your weird, NORMALIZED, idea of what life is. you can’t play either or with us, and that just makes your heads hurt. here, let me call you a fucking waambulance. but first, i need to fix my makeup.

"

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queerfemme’s comment

I like pie « I Blame The Patriarchy

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Tags: femme politics cunted radical makeup words of wisdom food for thought