deleted my facebook yesterday.
have been on pinterest for all of a month and have found it has already triggering and overwhelmingly fatphobic/hetero-centric/awful.
thinking about people i’ve known online for 5-10 yrs this week. thinking about a zine. thinking about privacy, intimacy via screens.
i think i need a break. i’m glad friends have been coming to visit often this summer because it’s been helping me step back. this week, particularly, i’m finding myself hating where i live. hating the way the politicians talk, hating how little they represent me or any of the amazing people i’ve gotten to know in this province. hating the diatribes, the discussions i overhear at bars. finding solace in angry emails to friends but that’s not enough. feeling sharper, in some ways, able to cut through the bullshit in ways i haven’t been able to in earlier election campaigns… but most of the feelings are bad.
often, i find going online helps when i’m in these kinds of situations, but lately it’s been hindering. i unfollowed a lot of people, not because i dislike them or what they post, but because of how it makes me feel. jealous is the only word for it.
a selection of the particularly jealousy inducing moments i’ve had this week:
oh, they’re going to femme conference? i wish!
omg everyone went to sappyfest… i wish i could have gone.
oh, look at those badass folks at the dyke march in mtl… i wish i could have been there…
if i had more of a social circle of my own offline it would be different. i know this shit comes in waves but right now i’m real lonely and diving headfirst into intense overworking mode because it’s easier than looking around and changing the habits i’ve formed. i cocoon, and that’s okay. trying to remind myself of the rules i set up for myself. trying to put pen to paper more often.
accidentally being away from the internet for nearly a month really helps put things in perspective. taking the time to write postcards, to read the letters i received while i was away, to relish in the tactile first and the digital second. we’ll see how my habits really change in the long run but no longer having my own computer paired with being really busy in good, exciting ways that involve me being away from digital screens has been such a nice refreshing change. i miss writing, though.
one of the FAQ i get is “what are your favourite tumblrs?”
i always hesitate the “playing favourites” game. but! here i present you with, “the first dozen or so tumblrs julia vists when she hasn’t had access to the internet for three weeks” in no particular order:
So there are several feminist publications out there right now — I even contribute to some of them! But none of them are very specifically queer and feminist and talk about fashion, specifically, and not in that ‘groundbreaking’ way that discusses how fashion can be feminist. I know it can be, there are lots of people I know who know it can be, and it informs how we approach feminism and vice versa. I want to bring that discussion to the table. I want to share the stories about how fashion informs feminism and feminism informs fashion and how they help each other out. I want the discussion to move past how problematic the industry can be (because newsflash, we all know it can be, and how it is, and how it needs to change) and talk about how much fucking fun it is. Because how I present myself is fucking subversive. Because how I treat my body is a political statement. Because I am queer and feminist and yeah I like fashion, and it doesn’t make me a lesser queer or a lesser feminist for doing so.
There is no current publication that speaks about fashion from a feminist point of view that doesn’t consider the industry to be an inherently destructive structure. I think it needs to happen, and I think I can make it happen, even if what I create is really small, and maybe won’t be a huge series. I think I can do it and I think you all can do it too, and we can do it together.
I already have seed funding so this isn’t even a call for donations — I don’t need them at the moment. I just need your stories. Your contributions. Your artwork, your photographs, you — not your money. Do you identify as queer? Do you like fashion? How does it help you and give you power? How does art give you agency as a person? As a feminist? As a queer sea monster?
If you don’t feel like you’re represented in other mediums, if you want to talk about fashion from a feminist perspective, if you want to talk about wearing stockings as a dude, I don’t care what you talk about, throw your ideas at me, I want to hear them, I want to publish them. This zine will include art, poetry, interviews, photoshoots (if you live in or around NYC we can work on this together!!), articles, anything that can fit. Spill your guts and let’s make this shit happen. Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s work shit out.
Signal boost please! Luv u ok bye.
HOW AM I JUST SEEING THIS NOW.
checking the stats for my tumblr is often more terrifying than anything else
but today it made me happy because the most results from a google search were “white supremacist capitalist patriarchy”
(usually it tends to be “hairy pits”)