"Self-destruction for love is a particularly Durasian obsession. "You destroy me. You’re so good for me," repeats the woman in "Hiroshima Mon Amour" to her lover. I ask her today why sex and death are always entwined for her.
"It’s difficult to articulate. It’s erotic." She takes a deep breath. "I had a lover with whom I drank a lot of alcohol." She pauses, staring straight at me. Her face is expressionless, her dark eyes are absolutely still. "I’m acquainted with it, the desire to be killed. I know it exists.""
“And this doubt grows around you. This doubt is alone, it is the doubt of solitude. It is born of it, of solitude. At least the word can be named. I think a lot of people couldn’t bear what I’m saying here; they would run away. Perhaps that’s why everyone isn’t a writer. Yes. That’s it. That’s the difference. That’s the truth. Nothing else. Doubt is writing. Thus, it is also the writer. And with the writer, everyone writes. We’ve always known that.”
Just saw this tonight, so good. Beautiful portrait of a new family, peppered with insightful challenges about the fucked up ways the world works. Powerful commentary from “rock moms” and how older women are pushed out of music scenes, the guilt and shame associated with wanting to be a creative person and a mother.
Saw the Alien She exhibit today. It is really great.
Tammy Rae Carland’s One Love Leads to Another is one of my favorites - how simply it speaks to the interconnectedness of things when you are at an age where interests and identity are interchangeable. One Love Leads to Another is an articulation of why I don’t throw anything away, why I have all of these scraps of paper and old tapes and envelopes (just because I liked the way my name and now defunct address were written.)
I WAS ALWAYS TURNED ON BY THE ANONYMITY OF PRIVACY. LIKE MANY, I EXPLORED MY ADOLESCENT SEXUAL CURIOSITY IN AIM CHAT ROOMS, CAT-FISHING FOR THE REPRESSED BABY-BOOMERS WHO NEVER ENJOYED SUCH A LUXURY IN THEIR OWN YOUTH. MY FIRST BLOWJOB AND THE FIRST TIME I WAS FUCKED WERE…
Holy shit this is powerful.
“With a fantasy like that, who needs a personality?”